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I Hate You WordPress

May 6, 2012
The logo of the blogging software WordPress. D...

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I spend a lot of time reading articles and blogs and I try to contribute to them as much as possible.  Blogging works both ways, right?  When I get likes, (sweet) comments, (sweeter) or new followers (sweet Jesus!) on WordPress I always try to check out their work as well – you know, to be a good neighbor. The problem is, now that I have started getting a modest amount of readers (I’m just waiting for the Huffington Post to start begging me to contribute – any day now…) I have become rather scared.  I’ve gotten the point where I cringe at the sight of that little orange square on the top right-hand corner of my screen.

Hidden behind that orange square often lies a new blog that I will certainly feel obligated to check out. I wouldn’t mind this so much if it wasn’t for the fact that they’re all really good.  Seriously – I’m the poster child for ADD – the last thing I need is exposure to countless thought-provoking and well-written blogs!  And to make matters worse, they’re all pretty unique – not just the same crap phrased a little differently here and there.  I loved it at first, but enough is enough people!

I will often visit a blog and think, “Hey, that was really great, but there’s no way this person can keep up that quality along with their full-time job, three kids, two cats and weekly book club. I’ll click follow and check in when they post again in a week or two.”  And what do I see promptly the next morning?  An email containing a link to their next post.  Ever the optimist I think “Ok, this is good; this post won’t be nearly as good as the last one so I’ll just read the first few sentences to be nice and never be distracted by this blogger again.”

Wrong again. Somehow this one was better than the last one.  Now I’m pretty annoyed. “Ok, they got lucky twice.  It happens.” So naturally, I click on their archive. There has to be something terrible here. I carefully avoid anything with an interesting or catchy title, and eventually find the perfect candidate – something with a really boring title that brings back bad memories of those yawn-inspiring reading comprehension passages they use for standardized tests.  And what happens?  Not only was the article as good as the others, but to rub salt in the wound I suddenly find myself extremely curious as to how the Sui Dynasty managed to play such a pivotal role in the reunification of the Chinese empire despite lasting a mere 29 years. (No, I’m not putting in a link for you – you’ll just have to look it up yourself.)

So to all my fellow bloggers, unless you are just plain terrible, please leave me alone.  I can’t take it anymore.  I was finally starting to sort out my thoughts – and now I have so many new things to read and think about I just want to ram my head against a wall to make it all go away.

And if you are a new blogger with your finger on the ‘follow’ trigger with hopes of getting some reciprocal traffic, please don’t let me stop you but be warned! Even one hastily chosen follow and you can kiss your weekday mornings goodbye courtesy of your new-found obsession with women’s studies (yes, I’m talking to you LadyRomp – I was just starting to get over my Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah obsessions…)

Yeesh – this is exactly my point.  I honestly don’t remember what I originally intended this post to be about – my introductary anecdote has become the entire post.

You suck, WordPress.  I need to focus on the Newcastle vs. Manchester City game.

Stop distracting me.

    Oh, and I forgot to mention that my dog went in for his annual physical yesterday and he has gaind a little over a pound – he was only 16lbs before.  Thanks for making my dog fat.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. sweetopiagirl permalink
    May 6, 2012 7:13 am

    Reblogged this on InspiredWeightloss!.

  2. May 6, 2012 8:00 am

    LMAO – always nice to see some Sunday morning humor, Matt. And no, we won’t leave you alone. 🙂
    Hugs,
    Jane

  3. May 6, 2012 12:06 pm

    LMAO, Matt. Ladyromp is fantastic, I agree. I LOVE YOUR HONESTY. Great post. I’d follow you twice, but not only would that be redundant, I don’t think WordPress allows it. 🙂 But, I’m thinking of starting another blog…so I can follow you again. LOL

    This is too funny. WHY do you insist on making me nearly wet my pants? YOU stop it. 🙂

    Love to you, Matt. You’re an amazing guy.

    Sorry about your dog. Perhaps give him 1/2 a treat instead of a whole one when you get comments? Snort!

  4. Avinash Arora permalink
    May 8, 2012 11:05 am

    Here’s hoping you can’t resist checking out my site too 🙂

Every time I get a comment I give my dog a treat!

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