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Dear GLBT Community

June 8, 2012

Dear GLBT Community,

Please go home and stop coming to Los Angeles gay pride. I love each of you and in small groups you are great company, but we can only fit so many people in West Hollywood at any given time. Might I suggest coming back sometime in November? It’s bad enough when President Obama came to visit and made me sit in traffic for 4 hours, and now it’s taking me over an hour to just drive through the intersection of Hollywood and Franklin. I think I am going to officially declare myself straight until the end of the weekend. I guess I hope you have fun while you’re here but next year please go to NYC or Provincetown instead.

Thank You

4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 22, 2012 9:39 am

    Ha! You and my husband would get along very nicely . . .

    • June 22, 2012 9:56 am

      Thanks! I get along with almost everyone quite nicely as long as they aren’t slowing me down. Actually, my current theory is that all people are great individually, small groups of people can go either way, but large groups of people always suck (even if they are all fabulous by themselves).

      • June 22, 2012 10:08 am

        Thought provoking . . . I would have to agree — for the most part. People in large numbers are easily excitable. Their resolve to think longer before acting drops, and therefore they do and say things they wouldn’t normally.

        • June 22, 2012 11:24 am

          Well, my theory is consistent with one of yours; if God truly exists in the quiet then it is reasonable to conclude that as the size of any group of people increases, the ‘goodness’ of said group decreases. If a group gets too big (and please forgive my hubris) I imagine God must say to him/herself “F* this – I have better things to do. Call me when a few of them break off for lunch.”

Every time I get a comment I give my dog a treat!

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